Ἀρετή (lime_gl0wstix) wrote,
Ἀρετή
lime_gl0wstix

Please, take a moment to write what your[sic] have gotten out of this course for yourself. What insights did you have? What skills did you develop? What will you take away with you for the future?

Despite my life-long enthrallment with the world of animation, by forces both within and beyond my control I have realized my dreams and fascination have been driven to a soul-shattering dead end.
Perhaps I'm just not skilled or advanced enough in my artistic career, which I fear is indeed the case. Animation to me is a top tier skill, much like calculus in mathematics, that requires the lower rungs of knowledge in order to be successful. Anatomy, persepctive, composition, emotion, and the way objects move in space are all required knowledge in animating. I believe it is, aptly, back to the drawing board for me.
I got a C in animation. I am so fucking pissed off that this is the third course I've gotten a fucking C in. Abnormal Psychology was understandable since it was a very hard course and I rarely studied. I think the bullshit about my final paper needing print resources (as opposed to digital-only psychiatric journals via JStor) was a bit unfair, but I accepted it since it's just a GE. But I got a C in my horrible Foundation Drawing course too, to my chagrin. And now I have a C in my animation course.

Why didn't I request transcripts before this semester was over? I knew I wouldn't do well in animation and now I'm stuck with a shitty looking set of grades before I apply to Hamburg. I couldn't apply at the end of the year because I ran out of time and now I may not even get to go. I'm really pissed off. Maybe it's for the best, who knows. I'm still fucking pissed off. I feel like I'm paying all this money just to be tarnished and to look like shit and do perform like shit and to be cut off from people and things I care about for further shit. Really eloquent there, eh?

But I am thankful for my illustration teacher, David Hadlock. At first I thought he hated me, but it was me hating myself. I was worried about whether or not I would perform to his standards. I surprisingly got an A in his class even though I felt my work was lackluster (though I was proud of the Beauty and the Beast project). Things will be a lot easier without friendship obligations this semester. I won't have to worry about Ryan calling me up and when I get to eat or not. I can just go if I feel like it or get food if I feel like it and not have to live according to his flaky schedule. He deleted me from Facebook and refused contact with me after I "ditched" him one night. He had flaked on eating dinner when the dining hall was open so we agreed to get food later, around 1am. I got a pretty important call on Skype from Jamie, so that was dominating importance. I told Ryan I was going to go back to my room to get a drink and ended up losing track of time, and the next morning I saw that Ryan had posted on my Facebook around 4am:


Like, really dude? I'm sorry, I was comforting one of my best friends about a fucking mysterious lump in his testes, I think that's a little more crucial than sitting and watching a Simpsons or Colbert Report rerun with you. Christ. It's not like I was driving him somewhere and physically ditched him out in the fucking desert; I just went back to my dorm 300 feet away and he didn't even bother to call. So whatever. I could have slipped and fallen down the stairs unconscious and wake up to him linking me videos of cats being dismembered on Facebook. What a faggot. I don't even know why I bothered to censor his last name.

Also, despite reserving a locker for next semester and over the summer, I found out that the lockers are being emptied June 10th. Though I got all my crucial stuff like my newsprint and drawing pads out, I still have a few paintings and over $100 of art supplies still inside. I got out all of my oil paints but there's still a huge stack of animation paper, my glass palette, a big can of OMS, and other miscellaneous things I'd rather not have thrown away.

I think I'm all ranted out now, but I'm still pretty fucking mad.
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